Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
