She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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