Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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