Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
