You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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