Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
