Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
