I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
