I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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