Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
