chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
50% drunk capacity currently
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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