Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
