i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
