Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
