new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Randomize
