so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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