yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
