the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize