bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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