i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Randomize
