we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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