i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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