I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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