y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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