He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
