Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
