i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My bed smells like the plague
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
