Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
