I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
