i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize