You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
