WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
