Porn is love you can see.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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