you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize