he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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