Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize