You're so nebulous sometimes
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
