I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You are the jesus of drinking
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
