I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize