Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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