the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
