he wants to bone in the snuggie
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
