I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
