found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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