mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
