Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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