***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
