it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
