So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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