my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
