there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
