I smell stomach acid.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
