are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
