you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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