Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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