People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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