I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
As shirtless as possible
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
