I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
