just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Randomize