Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
