I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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