Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
