I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
