I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
