He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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