East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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