the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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