I'm going to jail i love you
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
