I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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