I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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